If you’ve ever wondered what the hell goes on in my mind and heart, give this a read, otherwise, skip it.
Life’s a bitch. These past few weeks I’ve been happy. 3 days ago I wrote about a girl I met online, how happy she made me. I woke up with a freakin’ smile on my face every morning, and went to sleep thinking of her. I hadn’t felt this way in a very long time (What is it now? 6 years? 7 years? I stopped counting), and as you can guess by the tone of this post, the magic is gone.
Apparently, I deserve someone better. “It’s not you, it’s me.”. I got Constanza’d. “You’re a wonderful person and you deserve someone better”. And I think I deserve it. I Ted Mosby‘d. I fell for this girl and told her how much she meant to me and I think that freaked her out.
I don’t really understand what happened. Last Friday, we had a lot of fun, she even said we should go out sometime. Now she’s telling me that ” She doesn’t feel anything for me.” She thinks I’m a wonderful person, just not the ‘wonderful person’ she’s looking for, I guess, and one date is all I got to prove I was.
I felt like I was king of the hill. I was extremely happy this morning, even started doing Wii Fit again, y’know, to lose some pounds. Now I’m just sighing loudly. I hadn’t opened my heart to anyone in years, and now that I finally did. Well, It kinda looks like this </3.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that if you missed the rage-driven, miserable, bitter Nushio who complained about all sorts of little things…
I’m back.
*sigh*
Cast a wide net. Consider what you just went through as practice. Dating gets easier for men as we get older: It did for me…now I’m a long time old married man, but believe me, I went through this and more. Treat it as a stochastic algorithm: the more girls you meet, the more you’ll feel this way, but also the more you’ll get beat up, you’ll end up with someone and be happy in the long run. I’ve seen too many people go through it to doubt the likely hood. But stay on the Wii Fit…
Oh, I’m staying on Wii Fit for sure, regardless of her. I just want to get an S on Turkey March on Pump it up.
I’m still depressed/sad/angry at the whole situation. I opened myself up and got hurt again. It took me a loooooooong time to heal. This time, I’m not gonna bury myself in bed sheets though, but in alcohol and code.
Last time I was this pissed off, I worked on BlueBubble. I’m hoping to make the best out of this situation.
I hope to go back one day and read this blog entry and laugh while I hug my wife and kids.